Sleepwalking, I stumbled upon glass of wine.
Burgundy juice, serenely resting in its crystal prison, not a ripple. I dipped a finger into it, shuddered, because it was cold. Like a nearly frozen lake in the middle of winter, I thought. My finger started to stir it: maybe I could make it warm.
Warm enough to drink.
But no, it was a futile effort and it can never be warm. He is too good to me, too noble to hide daggers behind silk curtains. "It'll be better. Less painful," he told me.
I withdraw my finger with a lonely droplet clinging on the tip of it. Without delay I drank it, like a thirsty traveler deprived of water for days. My head swirled: that was the very first symptom.
Instinct told me to flee and save myself, never to come back; yet curiosity drove me further to take a sip. As cold wine took over my throat, my senses numbed. Every swallow hurt, every cut deeper.
Yet I still went back for it. Perhaps I wanted to end it like this, with pain and misery. It's easier to give up this way, isn't it?
And I went back for more, and more, and more... Laughing at my naive folly as I drunk myself, indirectly, killing myself.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Three Cuts for My Darling
First cut:
oooFor the times you
ooooPour your smiles on
oooooThis
Deformed face of mind.
Second cut:
oooI lick and savour
ooooThe crimson warmth,
oooooLike your every hug
That enfolded me.
Third cut:
oooHoney on my wouds
ooooThat reminded me of
oooooEvery word you said to me,
I shall never forget.
oooFor the times you
ooooPour your smiles on
oooooThis
Deformed face of mind.
Second cut:
oooI lick and savour
ooooThe crimson warmth,
oooooLike your every hug
That enfolded me.
Third cut:
oooHoney on my wouds
ooooThat reminded me of
oooooEvery word you said to me,
I shall never forget.
And you will find me
Asleep in my bed,
Like a child, undisturbed.
Because I believe
That tomorrow is a better day.
That is if I forget today.
How easy it is to say
But how difficult it is to do.
That's why I was asleep,
That's why I'll never awake.
Asleep in my bed,
Like a child, undisturbed.
Because I believe
That tomorrow is a better day.
That is if I forget today.
How easy it is to say
But how difficult it is to do.
That's why I was asleep,
That's why I'll never awake.
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